If you are a victim of child abuse or know someone who might be, call or text the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at to speak with a professional crisis counselor. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
People may sometimes hate their mothers if they have been mistreated by them or repeatedly let down. This hatred is a strong emotion that can be difficult to cope with. While it is often expressed impulsively as anger, it can be helpful to set boundaries instead. Struggling with stress? Our guide offers expert advice on how to better manage stress levels. Get it FREE when you sign up for our newsletter. Parenting and child mental health. London J Prim Care Abingdon.
The contribution of parenting practices and parent emotion factors in children at risk for disruptive behavior disorders. Child Psychiatry Hum Dev. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.
These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data. We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. It can happen during childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. Granted, there are many cases and scenarios where people who have grown to hate their mothers began doing so when they were young children or teenagers.
However, there are other situations where hatred towards mothers began in adulthood. More often, the latter cases occur due to actions or behavioral patterns. There is no one answer, but there are a plethora of variables and contributing factors.
Of course, some blame their mothers for something that is not their fault. But most of the time, if the person hates someone especially a parent , there is a logical reason. Sometimes it is because of abuse physical, mental, or sexual or because their mother left them young. Whatever the reason, if you are feeling hatred for your mother, there must be an explanation.
The short answer is: yes. Your feelings are valid whether or not others agree with them. Many people believe that family is everything and that no one has the right to hate their parents. Unfortunately, parental-child relationships can be damaged so severely, but it happens.
Never be ashamed of how you feel; always be willing to acknowledge and accept your feelings regardless of how uncomfortable they may be. The emotions that you have can help you learn and prevent yourself from getting hurt in the future.
Most commonly, hatred toward your mother is your mental way of shielding yourself from further despair. While you may carry some guilt surrounding this, it is natural to experience these feelings, and there is nothing wrong with you for having them. The first step to moving past these feelings is understanding them.
It is important to your mental health to confront these feelings and deal with them. Harboring the hatred and allowing yourself to feel that way every time you think about your mother can affect your relationships with others. This includes relationships with your children, if you have any. This does not mean that you have to forgive your mother and build a relationship with her. It just means that you should find out why you feel this way and let it go, so you are not carrying that around with you all the time.
Many people underestimate the impact hatred towards one individual can have on their relationships with others. You see, hatred is an inherently insidious entity. It festers, grows, and manifests.
Someone who holds onto hatred may end up lashing out at others and struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Not everyone will be able to overcome these feelings in the same way, but there are a few things you can try to move past these emotions. Keep in mind not everything will work for everyone; these are just starting points you can try.
We have already discussed the importance of finding the root cause of your feelings towards your mom. Take the time to self-reflect, maybe even commit to journaling about your feelings, and answer some important questions. Was it something she did? However, the best way to deal with this long-lasting hatred is to see types of therapy that can address emotional instability and find a therapist to help you work through your feelings.
For some people is it normal to dislike their parents; however, it is usually a dislike for their parenting style. There are those who trying dislike their parents because of a volatile family life or reasons like:. Dealing with a toxic mother can be quite challenging.
It is best to find a therapist to help you manage your feelings and your responses to her behaviors. While you cannot force your mother to find treatment for her issues, you can find treatment for how you deal with her. The types of therapy that address toxic parents is usually family therapy. While you may spend a long time with your counselor talking about what your life was like growing up and how your mother is toxic to your overall life, you need to feel free to discuss these things openly.
Human beings need to be heard and understood, so when you find a therapist, do not expect your problems to just disappear overnight; commit to a long term relationship with your counselor to help you manage dealing with a toxic mother. Some mothers want to be their daughters best friends rather than a parent. This can dramatically impact the family life of everyone involved. While it is perfectly alright to be best friends with your daughter, you need to be a parent first and make sure that you are a role model that she can depend on for both sympathy and discipline.
Since high school is a time to grow more independent of your parents, they are still your moral compass. A mother then cannot loosen the reigns of their daughter when they are in high school, and tend to start to resent their daughters.
It may get to the point that the mother significantly starts to dislike their daughter. Whether from a poor bond, emotional abuse, or jealousy, it is not uncommon for a daughter to feel that the relationship with my mother is dysfunctional. While it is never ideal for a girl to say I hate my mother, sometimes the reality is that so much resentment has built up that she feels no other emotions. If your mother did not like you or you often say I hate my mother, find a therapist who can help you work through your emotions.
It depends. You may say that the relationship with mother was great as a first born, and another person may say that the relationship with my mother was horrific, as a first born. Sometimes the only way you can get your point across is to yell at your child; however, you need to realize that if you constantly yell at a child you will harm your relationship and your child may find it hard to attempt communicating with you about important matters, for fear of being yelled at again.
Some children do grow up in a household where there is emotional abuse from constant yelling. Yelling occasionally will not harm your child long term, but making it a habit is unhealthy for both of you. Each of you may want to find a therapist to work on your relationship before it becomes toxic and unhealthy.
This often takes a deep look inside yourself to see what happened that she cut you off. It often helps to find a therapist to discuss this issue with and try to determine what happened and what can be done to fix the relationship with your daughter. It is often best to find out why your daughter is mean, in the first place and it is recommended to find a therapist to try and determine why she is so angry.
There are different modes of therapy that help for different causations. Ideally, you do not want your daughter to grow up saying that the relationship with my mother was horrible; you want to try to repair it as soon as possible.
Parenting is hard. There is no rule book and mistakes will be made. The best thing you can do is try to have a loving home, with boundaries, and have open communication with your children. Mothers and teenage daughters can fight about anything. School work, who their friends are, their curfew, household rules, favoring one side of the family over another, and many other reasons. If your daughter gets to the point where she said my relationship with my mother is not healthy and I hate my mother , this can be a stopping point.
It is best to find a therapist to see why there is so much hostility and hurt that your daughter hates you. If your daughter has an undiagnosed mental health disorder, there are modes of therapy that can help you repair your relationship with your daughter after she gets the appropriate treatment.
There are also modes of therapy for your daughter if you have an undiagnosed mental health disorder that you refuse to get treated. Ask your mom if she and you can go to family therapy together, so you can work on your relationship. We are open and accepting clients.
Are you ready to get help? You will receive the highest caliber of care in our comfortable, home-like residential treatment centers.
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